Why Black Friday and not Golden Friday?!
Black Friday deals are swamping the Internet, our inboxes and social media. Who doesn’t like a good discount?! I do for sure! But why Black Friday and not golden Friday when it's all about profits for businesses and saving for the people? The answer to this question has a lot to do with healing the mother wound! I'll share with you here why you should know about Black Friday as well as inviting you to join me in a FREE webinar about setting boundaries.
Loves, have you ever thought ‘Why Black Friday and not Golden Friday?!’
Before I get into this I'd like to invite you to a FREE experinar ( my way of naming an experience-based webinar) on setting boundaries, Dec 1st, @6PM CET. You'll find all the details below.
So, the term ‘Black Friday’ was first used to refer to the financial crash of September 24th 1869.
Two heavily bearded dudes on Wall Street took a cold-blooded gamble, buying up as much gold as possible in an attempt to drive prices sky-high and rake in extortionate profits. But the gold market went into meltdown, leaving countless people bankrupted and heart broken.
Thereafter, in the 1950s, the police in Philadelphia, USA, used the term to describe the Friday after Thanksgiving when suburban crowds poured into the streets of the city for a big game, and the streets descended into a law enforcement nightmare with hordes of shoppers and shoplifters.
What was a black day for the cops turned out to be a bonanza for the high street shops. Over time, attempts were made to change the name Black Friday to something more positive-sounding that reflected a retail holiday with massive discounts everywhere. But it wasn’t until the 1980s that Black Friday really became a ‘thing’ — and the name we are familiar with stuck.
You might think, now: “but this is how things are!”, or “who doesn’t love a good discount?!", or “the offers are so attractive, shouldn’t I just take advantage???”
To which I’d reply—you’re right! And, the way things are is what we need to change if we want to heal the mother wound.
Which is why, as Black Friday approaches and my inbox fills with all manner of offerings from colleagues in the field of healing the mother wound in the shape of massively discounted courses topped up with free one-on-one healing the mother wound sessions, I got upset.
No Time to Rest
The mother wound is the result of the emotional inflation of the importance of fitting in and having more. It’s reinforced by current political, economic, social and cultural trends that claim that we—women in particular—don’t have enough (to be beautiful, qualified, popular, or whatever else you can think of) and don’t do enough (to have the perfect body, the smashing CV, the ideal work-life balance, or whatever else you can think of).
It’s a lie! And this lie keeps us from rest, from resting into the moment, resting into who we are, resting into enoughness.
Rest was the common theme coming up from the different sessions I’ve held this past week. I love paying attention to that because I feel it informs me about both a need that I myself might have and what is going on for women in general out there in the world.
So many angles to the theme of rest—the feeling that it’s not possible to rest, the sense of guilt or inner voices of criticism around rest, not knowing how to rest, not feeling worthy or deserving of rest, and more.
Whatever the angle or the personal story, the need to rest is there and there’s something that stands in the way of us giving it to ourselves.
I’m aware that sometimes circumstance are difficult and there seems to be not much space or time to rest. If you care for little children or a sick relative, you obviously need to devote a large chunk of your time to someone whose well-being depends on you.
And still, I want to suggest that rest more than anything is an intention and a state of mind. It’s not a reality that we’re either privileged to have or not, but a reality we create.
This is why I expect from my colleagues in the field of healing the mother wound to NOT employ the biz-as-usual, manipulative, patriarchal tactics, and to advocate rather for all the ways in which we can do something else to heal the mother wound—on a global as well as personal level.
Black Friday and healing the mother wound
It’s not that I don’t hold special sales. The latest one was the summer sale where I offered a considerable discount on my one-on-one healing the mother wound sessions, and I was very transparent about my reasons for doing so. My strategy is different and its aim is healing the mother wound.
In a recent workshop, I had the opportunity to reflect on my strategy and the differences between business as usual and feminist business.
When I listed in two separate columns my view of biz-as-usual vs. feminist biz, I was appalled by the picture that emerged:
Manipulative vs. Transparent
Scarcity vs. Abundance
Rigid vs. Flexible
Formal vs. Personal
Competitive vs. Collaborative
User Manual-driven vs. Creative
Top-down vs. Straightforward
Aggressive vs. Accommodating
Qualification-oriented vs. Experience-oriented
The list was really long.
Black Friday and its original meaning of two people plotting to take advantage of a whole society with complete disregard for the personal circumstances of countless fellow-citizens IS biz-as-usual.
I don’t want anymore for scarcity, competition, distance and aggression to keep on shaping our beliefs about our capacity. Do you?
This is the context in which the mother wound arises.
The mother wound doesn’t live in a vacuum. It’s not just what happened between you and your mother. It’s an inheritance of limiting beliefs about what a woman can or cannot do and be in a patriarchal society, that comes down through your mother.
So, don’t rush, I have no Black Friday deals for you. Instead, I have something else.
We can start by learning how to rest and lean into who we are
I want to offer you a FREE EXPERINAR—which is my coin for experiential webinar.
Since my work is very experience-based, but with also a solid body of knowledge behind it, I want to offer you to both obtain some knowledge about healing the mother wound and have a first-hand experience of what I offer.
Loves, you’re invited to join me:
SIMPLIFYING BOUNDARIES EXPERINAR
How healing the mother wound grow unapologetic boundaries and helps you rest
Most women find it difficult to set healthy personal boundaries. The common practice is that personal boundaries are all about saying No.
It doesn’t feel so inviting to keep saying No, and in fact boundaries have very little to do with just saying No.
In this experinar, I’ll share two common myths about boundaries. We will explore what boundaries are so you can discover how healing the mother wound cultivates unapologetic boundaries and helps you rest.
The structure (roughly): 10 mins teaching, 15 minutes experience, 15 minute Q&A
When: Friday, Dec 1st 6PM CET (check your local time)
Where: online via zoom
How long: I’ll aim for 40-50 minutes but I’ll give as much time as needed to answer any questions that come up
How much: FREE when you turn up for the call live, or 15CHF for the recording
Is it really free?: Yes. At the end I’ll offer anyone who wants to work with me 1:1, as I have some spaces becoming available. No one can live off free offers alone. You can either join for the experience or because it can give you a sense of what it could be like to work with me
What do you need to do: Show up personally if you wish, camera on/off as you wish, or sign up and receive the recording for only 15CHF
Can I invite friends?: Yes. I’d love that! Please don’t share with them the invite you receive but instead share this email with them so they can sign up themselves
How to join: click below, fill in your details in the booking page and receive the invitation to your inbox
Do keep enjoying discounts and sales, especially because sometimes it’s the only time we can afford to buy what we truly need. But at he same time keep in mind why Black Friday is black Friday and not golden Friday, how it’s inflaming the mother wound and what you can do about adding to healing.
Not sure about joining? No problem! Here are a couple of ways to stay connected:
Sign up to my Muzeletter for regular useful content on healing the mother wound
Take my video training on breaking free from mother wound limiting beliefs
Shelly's helping women whose relationship with their mother left a negative mark and want to become un-limited in their personal or professional life
