HEALING THE MOTHER WOUND
For women who know that their relationship with their mother
has left a limiting impact
and want to become
It can definitely seem like it is because these are partly common human experiences.
And yet, when these challenges arise because of unmet needs in the relationship with your mother, they're not just a common experience but a default self-image or a habitual belief that is quite sticky and hard to let go of no matter how much attention and healing you try to bring to it.
The relationship you had with your mother or other important maternal figures in your life will have a particular and unique force in how they shape you.
I often hear this from my clients:
“The past is in the past”
“I can’t change my mother”
“She’s also had a rough childhood”
I get it. It's like you’re trapped between the fear of mother-blame and the actual hurt that limits you.
In a society that doesn’t really know how to tend to emotional pain AND places a taboo on talking about your mother it looks like you're left with writing off the hurts of the mother wound as the best option.
A challenging relationship with your mother will manifest in different ways that limit your capacity to feel adequate, appreciated and unapologetic about your needs.
Does any of this speak to you?
You’re often feel ready to be disappointed or fear of being abandoned
No matter your experience or credentials you're not far from feeling not-enough
You carry a sticky sense of shame or guilt
It's hard to not prioritise others’ feelings and needs
You’re weighed down by unresolved anger
Your mother’s voice has become your inner self-criticism and self-doubt
Trusting yourself or others is a kind of an effort
BUT…ISN’T THIS TRUE FOR EVERYBODY?
DOESN’T EVERYBODY DEAL WITH THESE ISSUES?
Right now, you might feel like there’s not much you can do,
or that you’ve done so much already that you’ve reached the end of what’s possible,
or maybe you're thinking you're too old, or your mother's no longer alive, and it's too late to get back to do something about this
But I want you to know that this is far from the truth!
There’s a way to reach deeper levels of healing where the limiting impact gets undone.
It’s in supplementing the painful or unmet childhood needs
with new experiences that fill your cup to the brim
with a sense of being Un-limited.
"Shelly is an emotional, mental and energetic genius/detective. Her ability to hold space and invite you into places inside of yourself you didn't know where there is exquisite.
As a therapist myself, it's rare for someone to be able to support and guide me through blocks in my growth.
Thank you for allowing me to open my heart and mind, Shelly. "
Amber Hawken, Australia
Meditation teacher, Therpasit & founder of Calm Mind Co
"In a sea of healers, practitioners, therapists and the like — Shelly and her gifts stand out.
I started deeply unhappy with the state of my life yet unsure and paralyzed in terms of how to move forward. In ways it felt like a leap of faith to work with Shelly, but quickly I realized this was exactly the soul-medicine I needed.
Showing up to my sessions with Shelly, I felt a strong sense of coming home to myself, with candles lit and tea waiting. She was my safe space and guide as we explored deep matters of the heart and unraveled patterns in my life that no longer served me.
I felt genuinely loved and cared for in her presence. Shelly is wise and authentic, practical too, and has unwavering faith.
By the end of our work together, I was ready to follow my heart -- I made a bold decision in my life and it's propelled me forward. I will forever be grateful for the lasting impression Shelly has made on my heart and happiness. I highly recommend enlisting Shelly's support if you want to move your life in the direction of true joy and fulfillment
Stefanie K., New York
Many women like you are not sure if the mother wound can really be healed or how the relationship with their mum has affected them.
It's understandable you’d want to just move on.
If you’ve never worked with a professional before, moving on may look like adopting mindsets to get unstuck from what hurts and strategies for managing the relationship with your mother (or your memories of it).
Bottom line: you do your best to not let this influence you today.
If you’ve been around the self-growth block for a while, you’ve probably tried different things such as EMDR, rapid transformation, mindset coaching, reiki, shamanic healing, meditation, or psychotherapy, and each one has probably given you something.
And yet… there are some sticky leftovers, and you're wondering
IS THERE AN END TO ALL THIS?
I want to be clear that, yes, healing the mother wound is a commitment.
And I also want to acknowledge that if you’re here, the part in you that already Knows that it’s possible to reach a state where you’re genuinely un-triggered and un-hurting.
I’m not offering empty promises or magic formulas, but I do offer a proven process that releases you from the limitations that the relationship with your mother, consciously or unconsciously, has imposed on you.
REIMAGINING WHAT'S POSSIBLE
The process of healing flows differently for women who grew up with a mother who was, for example, narcissistic, mentally ill, judgmental or emotionally absent.
While each life scenario offers a different point of entry, there's an underlying thread of healing that addresses those particular Missing Experiences of unmet childhood mother-daughter needs.
Below are three crucial components to healing the mother wound that need to be brought together so you can discover new ways of being:
Trauma-informed & mother wound-informed
Working with someone who knows what it’s like personally, but is also professionally trauma-informed makes a difference in the choice of practices that are necessary and helpful in reaching deeper levels of healing. This creates a field of resonance where the sense of inadequacy or loneliness dissolve and a fresh sense of belonging grows.
The mother wound is a relational wound and therefore the relationship with your helper (therapist/coach, etc.) itself should be a part of the healing process.
It's a unique therapeutic relationship where your helper has done the work on themselves first, so the process feels natural, organic and warm enough for you to be who you want and need to be without unconsciously having to negotiate with their unchecked tendencies, opinions and ideas.
In this compassionate and nonviolent environment, your emotional body can radically reimagine how else it is possible for you to live your life.
Mindfulness of feelings and body
To flesh out limiting beliefs and habits inherited from the relationship with your mother and those Missing Experiences there has to be more than mental engagement, gaining knowledge and talking.
Mindfulness of feelings and somatic explorations is a co-creating process guided by an empathic witness that helps you see what you cannot see alone. You then grow organically into new, more empowering beliefs about what’s possible in any field of your life.
"In times where I thought no one else could help me, when I had lost all hope, Shelly helped me to help myself. She helped me transform what was stuck and what was dark, into something beautiful.
I was filled with fear, grief and anxiety and all the conventional, as well as unconventional ways I seeked out, were not helping, or only partly.
Her way to look at life and the soul itself is amazing and refreshing. Her insights and questions she posed helped me move forward, on my own, without any external help needed.
I would recommend working with Shelly any time, for whatever reason."
Caro H., London UK
Singer & song writer
"Shelly's openness, curiosity, sensitivity and incomparable sense of humour, coupled with clear leadership has helped me a lot to re-think and change my life.
I worked with Shelly on things like shame, healing childhood trauma, feeling not-enough and finding a sense of belonging.
I used our work on stage and in life. I have managed to overcome stage-fear, that though I worked on before, this time it was gone for good. She is a really good supporter also on the phone in emergencies.
I am grounded and free ME on stage and in life. I feel much clearer, strengthened inwardly, soft and powerful at the same time.”
Melanie Forgeron. Switzerland, Opera Singer
HI, I'M SHELLY
For years I’ve had this strange mix of passion to ‘just be myself’ coupled with a deep sense of inadequacy because of my own mother wound.
This has led me in many different directions: I have been a ballet dancer, a gourmet chef with my own catering business and a nationally sought-after consultant for effective social change.
I've also studied yoga, Thai massage, astrology, many aspects of adult psychology, as well as achieving a Master’s in Special Education.
After two decades of meditation studies with internationally established teachers, while applying myself to a journey of healing from infant trauma, childhood neglect and abandonment, I have founded my own method of coaching, which I call Becoming Un-limited.
Over the past twenty years, I've worked in different facilitation roles as a meditation teacher, group coach and retreat leader, and in the past decade I have worked with dozens of women from around the world on healing the mother wound.
To the therapeutic process I offer all of myself—my personal journey, as well as my professional experience in trauma-informed, somatic-based healing practices.
I believe we’re all wired for healing
and finding satiating relief from past hurts.
My work is an organic, tailored process. What you bring alchemises with the setting I provide to yield something fresh and deeply reassuring.
I blend the guidelines of Hakomi therapy, polyvagal and attachment theory, Buddhist psychology and my own life experience and intuition to create a safe and guided environment for you to find the depth and level of healing you yearn for.
Sessions involve a heart-to-heart conversation as well as different mindfulness and somatic practices.
Each session is followed by suggestions for integration practices, easily incorporated into your day-to-day life.
One-on-One Healing the Mother Wound
I’ve worked with women:
Who’ve experienced sexual, emotional and psychological abuse
Who are daughters to narcissistic mothers and mothers who have dealt with mental illness, addictions, and intergenerational trauma
Who felt responsible for their mothers, were their mother’s best friends, or compensated for their mother’s lack of support system in other ways
Who struggled with money and career-related issues, low self-worth, lack of belonging, trust, relationships, fear of abandonment, loneliness, lack of boundaries, gaslighting, rage, self-criticism, self-doubt, codependency, indecision, depression, anxiety, their own motherhood, physical health, PTSD, complex trauma
Who also help others such as psychotherapists, healers, yoga/meditation teachers
Of different ages, from teenagers to women in their 90s
From different cultural and ethnic backgrounds
My work is best for women who:
Are interested in incorporating mindfulness and somatic work in the healing process
See themselves as an engaged and committed part of the process
Are aware that emotional freedom entails some degree of commitment to a process, which can take some time
My work is not for you if you're:
Interested in only talking or a formulaic process
Looking for someone to simply give you advice, tell you what to do or fix what feels broken
Anxious to get fast results without the latitude needed for a genuine process
To start with I offer either 3-month package or a 1-month package.
The three-month package is where you’re most likely to see satisfying results with enough shift to feel that your efforts—in terms of time, vulnerability and finance—have begun to bear the fruit you seek.
That said, I do understand that pertinent to the mother wound is a genuine difficulty to make such a decision to “work on it” and feel comfortable in trusting that it’s the right thing for you.
In this case, a minimum of 1 month of work will help you move through the crucial initial phase of leaning in and trusting the work before moving on to your next step.
Either way, our first step together is a complimentary call to help you decide what the best option for you is. You won’t be asked to jump straight into the deep end!
PRICES & WHAT'S INCLUDED
*The rates below are in Swiss Francs (CHF), check here for currency conversion.
*Non-punitive instalment options are possible.
Supported rate: Is designed for those with limited resources, where the standard rate competes with providing for their basic needs
Standard rate: Is designed for those with access to financial resources
Rebalancing rate: Is designed for those with the financial capacity that can further support my capacity to offer supported rates and free access to working with me for those in need
3-MONTHS PACKAGE AT 850 / 1500 / 2050 CHF INCLUDES:
10 x 60-75-minute meetings on Zoom
Session recording (if you wish) sent via email
Session summary as PDF, including suggestions for self-practice
Unlimited support between sessions via email/WhatsApp
Access to an exclusive resource page with recorded nourishment, guided meditations and tailored guidance
1-MONTH PACKAGE AT 255 / 450 / 615 CHF INCLUDES:
3 x 60-75-minute meetings on Zoom
Session recording (if you wish) sent via email
Session summary as PDF including suggestions for self-practice
Unlimited support between sessions via email/WhatsApp
I know that working with the mother wound can feel intimidating.
So let’s move on from the two-dimensional space and make this real, closer and clearer. Your next step is easy:
Schedule a free get-together call using the link below
Receive a confirmation email with a Zoom link for our call
In this call you'll be able to share with me in detail what you're dealing with, and what your wishes are and I'll share what I can offer. After this call, you have no obligation to work with me if you don't wish to.
"I was stuck for quite a while in a meaningless and painful treadmill and despite a regular meditation practice as well as considerable self-development work, I could not even find the door out.
Shelly has offered me the safe space to explore my inner landscapes with my heart - places where my head could not have gone.
Despite my fear that once I let go of holding on to my old facade my life would crumble, she gave me the confidence to engage fully from the first session onward.
Shelly immediately realised that embodiment would be the golden key needed to unlock my stuckness caused by my deeply ingrained, unhealthy belief system forced upon me by a narcissistic mother. Unrooting the skewed beliefs was a thrilling exploration, a rollercoaster too but totally worth it! The work with her gave me the confidence to dare a painful but liberating step!
Shelly is a master in creating a loving space for inner exploration, nourishment, insights that enable profound change.
I owe her a new life!
Z. Drodz, Switzerland
"Shelly was recommended to me by a dear friend during a period of my life when many things had quickly changed and I felt overwhelmed. Shelly convicened me of her being and work during our very first meeting.
I felt like she could see through me and like she was very trustworthy on a deep level. She is intelligent, strong and soft at the same time.
Shelly helped me rediscover my path, heal wounds and become more of ME. Her way of analysing and looking at life is extraordinary."
Agnetha Vonarburg. Switzerland, Master of ceremony, owner of Wort-Gold
I was at the point where I didn’t know how to handle the dynamic of my relationship with my mum anymore.
I really appreciated that you offered a first free meeting. The financial investment was a little hesitation for me and it gave me a sense of your approach. I would recommend working with you 200%!!!
It helped me to start by just observing myself –the patterns, triggers and belief system– and actually not needing to do anything. You are so immensely supportive. In situations, between sessions, when I needed you, you were there.
I love the combination of practical inputs and at the same time, being guided into meditation and allowing the messages to come from within that space.
I made a trip with my mum to my aunt’s funeral where I spent three full days with my mum. I was a little bit nervous about the intensity but I cannot tell you how much I was thinking of you - we had such a good trip. I was relaxed and we had really good time that we’ve never had before.
Andrina Tisi, Switzerland.
Coach & Teacher
"Shelly is a coach's coach. Her intelligence is matched by her integrity and ability.
Shelly’s skill set meets the particular demands of professionals in coaching and mental health. Her deep knowledge of social science, social psychology and spirituality is beautifully partnered with an intuitive feeling for the soul of the individual.
Whilst my body and mind were in conversation, it was Shelly that held the space where I could connect the conversation with inner spirituality. She speaks from the soul. She creates trust. This awakens and evokes the soul of others.
I completed my coaching with Shelly feeling centred, awakened and prepared. "
Lynda Heffernan, Switzerland
Coach, therapist & Founder of Kaizen mind
Can I join the coaching group instead of one-on-one?Group meetings and one-on-one meetings have different advantages and cannot be a replacement of one another but can definitely be complementary. The biggest advantage of one-on-one is that the process, focus and rhythm of the meetings are tailored specifically to your needs and all of the attention is on you. A coaching group is a wonderful space to put into practice new possibilities of being in a safe and supportive space and getting the deeply healing sense that you're not alone as you share your innermost being with like-hearted women. If you’re not sure, we’ll explore that in our chat.
I’m dealing with trauma (or had one in the past). Will the group be a good fit for me?Though there’ll be an abundance of therapeutic benefits to participants of this group, it’s not a therapy group. I am trauma-informed and can support many needs and situations, yet to ensure that this group setting is the best support for what you need right now please bring this up in our chat.
Are there any prerequisites to participating?There are no real prerequisites to be able to enjoy this group. Yet, it's an advantage to have some familiarity with mindfulness-based practices. The focus of the group is on experiencing rather than merely talking. You will need to feel comfortable with or open to experience-based practices.
Why is there a difference in rate between the one payment and instalments?Paying in instalments may make this offer more feasible for you and I’m happy to offer this. At the same time, it takes more admin time and additional transaction fees which I’m unable to absorb. If it’s feasible for you to pay in advance the extra expenses are taken off the total payment.
"Shelly has been helping me through a difficult moment in my life. I have separated from my husband of 30 years. When I speak with Shelly, I feel encouraged and inspired. I come away feeling comforted and enlivened, and at the same time focused.
Shelly points to the deeper meaning of what is happening. She holds the space for me. I feel so grateful and appreciative of my contact with her. Thank you Shelly!!"
Linda G., Italy
"When you recommend something or someone there's an attempt to define what it is you are really recommending, what quality you're pointing to....
With Shelly there are so many things amongst the abundance of beautiful things that happen, like there is a voice inside of us that has a special sound, and then suddenly you realise it's actually your own voice - that kind of magic."
Orit A., Israel,
"Shelly mediates between my deepest wishes and myself, help uncover and expose them gently and in my own rhythm. I love so much our meetings and wait for them, I know that after each meeting another layer is shed and I get closer to myself.
Shelly is professional, full of wisdom, intuitive and has tremendous knowledge. Aside all that she is sensitive, charming and caring.
I recommend anyone who's looking for a change and personal development the Life Alignment meetings with Shelly"
Efrat S., Israel
"Working with Shelly enabled me to settle more fully and respectfully within myself, discovering the inner landscapes anew, beyond the imprisoning preconceptions I had cultivated about myself.
Her beautiful deconditioning presence freed up courage inside me to say yes to a 'greater me', and say yes to following the path of my vocation with greater confidence and determination"
THE MISSING EXPERIENCE
The mother wound is an acquired set of limiting self-beliefs and habits inherited from a—mildly or dramatically—charged dynamic between you and your mother.
Occurring in a patriarchal society that stands in the way of women’s natural growth, these limiting beliefs and habits exist as crucial Missing Experiences that need to be directly addressed.
I know I’m not alone when I tell you I’ve spent years keeping the misguided and hurtful experiences of my childhood secret, thinking my childhood wasn't "that bad" (especially when compared to the stories of others) and that I can just get over it or use what I've learned and do it myself.
Perhaps like you, I spent years trying to overcome different limitations in my life without knowing their roots lay in the mother wound. And after years of applying myself to healing work, I didn’t believe that the mother wound was—still—the cause of many of my difficulties with my relationships, with my career and finances and with myself.
Becoming Un-limited is the work that allows you to uproot these limiting self-beliefs and habits and replace them with enriching, nourishing and guiding beliefs.
Can you replace today the experiences that were missing from early on in your life?
I’m offering you a proven process that many women like you have enjoyed, which draws from the science of nervous system regulation, attachment theory, Buddhist psychology and Hakomi therapy. This allows you to have what we are all wired for—coming back to wholeness.
Imagine these as your possible results:
You have a robust trust in yourself that leads the way you approach daily or important decisions.
You’re not activated by criticism and the inner voice of self-criticism and self-doubt doesn’t have the upper hand
Relationships are a cornerstone of your mental health and feeling you belong.
You know how to show up fully as yourself and ask for what you need without feeling you’re too much
You’ve cultivated clear boundaries and know how to set them without falling into fear of abandonment
Your career breaks through the repetitive barriers, no matter how old you are
You dissolve the limiting beliefs that restrict your finances and cultivate a new sense of worthiness
It feels easy and natural, free from guilt or shame, to prioritise self-care
You’re not concerned by the possibility of inflicting your mother wound on your children because you’ve processed that hurt and you’re more skilled and guided than just trying to be unlike your mother
Your natural leadership shines through unapologetically and with beauty where you can hold space for others to become un-limited
You come to realise the illusory nature of the urgency to be responsible for your mother or everyone else in your life and find balanced and relieving ways to bring reciprocity into your life
Your healing practice is emboldened and enriched as you discover unchecked pockets in your own wisdom and strength
NOT THERE YET?
No pressure! take your time. I can offer you something simple that feels less vulnerable and helps you to get to know me and my work.
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