Wanting Something So Badly
What you want defines the distance between you and it/them. There is a process to get there. If you don’t have a process you need to cultivate one. If you have a process trust it. It will embrace you, take you in, and cradle you all the way to its finding.
In the zen tradition there is a saying that if you fall seven hundred times you get up seven hundred and one. The only measure of the distance between where you are and where you want to be is that one extra step.
We know this saying “enjoy the process” but we forget to enjoy and we forget it’s a process. It doesn’t matter what we know if we forgot it. Knowing doesn’t make a difference. But being does.
Knowing then is not an object you wear as a precious jewel or a framed title on your office door, but a breath that travels outside and inside as if the whole world was her private space.
What you know, say it again.
What you’re afraid of saying, say it clearly.
What you judged as irrelevant to your journey forward, place at the centre of your conversation.
What you want so badly is not to be found in a form.
What we want is to say the truth, to touch the things that matter, to express creatively and freely, to give and receive love, to shiver with joy, to be.
What you want dresses in seven hundred different forms and you undress it seven hundred and one times.
This one more time is the only time, it’s the first time, it’s a primal time, it’s the one pulse that brings you to life.
.
All that I have forgotten
left like a breath
into the ether space.
That’s why I need
to say it one
more time.
Seven hundred times
forgotten, seven hundred
and one refound.
You cannot measure
an untrodden
step.
The distance between
what you want
and yourself
measured
by one
more breath.

Shelly helps people who seek to deepen
self-trust & expression
and want support in getting through
challenging feelings or life questions
with great emotional freedom
Photo by David Hofmann on Unsplash