Doubt Is Your Light Worker When You Violate Your True-Self
“It is not easy to be sure that being yourself is worth the trouble” said Florida Scott-Maxwell
Sometimes we miss out on the most obvious things. It’s the elusive nature of truth.
It’s very easy to feel unappreciative or dismissive towards ourselves when we don’t have proof to prove our vision for ourselves. It seems that forging the portrait of our soul must always pass through doubt.
Doubt can be a very full experience, though most often we experience it as a partialising experience, as a splitting knife that tears us to pieces and feeds the only solid ground we've managed to put together through the mincing machine.
Doubt can eat you up from within and throw you into a whirlpool where the only axis is the question: Am I choosing right?!
Doubt can grind your ideas to dust and reduce your self-confidence to echoes.
Doubt can bury you under the mountain of existence and make you feel you will never be able to grow from this experience.
But only, only when you let it govern your sun.
Belief is the grounding place for doubt.
What is your believe about that same thing that you doubt?
Do you grab onto beliefs about how much not enough of something you are? About how incapable you are?
Doubt helps you deny un-beneficial choices and actions.
You have to doubt something before you deny it, says W.H. Auden.
What do you feel when you imagine following or not following the direction that doubt points to?
If it’s relief, then stop right here the “but”-rationalising and listen. If it’s fear, then you know - you know the real deal here is dealing with fear, and doubt is just the messenger.
Doubt creates confusion while its true aim is to raise clarity!
When you violate your true-self, doubt can be your light-worker. It will come in different situations, visit you in different places, but it will always carry the same ideas about what you can or cannot do.
Find the value in doubt, learn to make it your friend, then instead of splitting experience it will transform into a full-blown self-rising.
Art: Russ Mills