The wants - A terrible sin or a sacred birth canal
In a certain sense we can say that any search for truth, for meaning, for manifestation, can be found in the womb of our wants. All that is needed is to take a look inside it without fear of our observing being engulfed in the tide of the wants that washes the shores of our lives.
The heart's wants are indissoluble. Something you cannot melt down and wish away. This is why our wanting is the messenger of the heart which can only be transformed. This transformation is not necessarily positive. Transformation is form changing in any direction. So when the wanting, the messenger of the heart, transforms to something belittled, smothered, something we're indifferent to, ignore, it turns to a void which is usually filled with mindless actions and unnecessary consumption.
Since I was a girl, my mother has always told me "if you have a desire to eat something it means your body is speaking to you. Learn to listen to what it tells you and respect that.” I didn't know back then that she had planted in me the understanding that the body has wisdom, one that can be listened to. There is wisdom to be gained from listening to what 'I want'.
Our demons, our fears, our problems, our challenges, all of them can be found echoing with that which we want. Our demons drink the precious nectar that flows in the veins of our wants. This is why their disguise is very convincing, and their reasons seems so justified.
If we're not in touch with the authentic wants of the heart, when they are brutally cut off while we are but saplings searching for our way to the natural element of the sunlight, we're left with this void and a sense of urgency to make decisions. Then we hurry up to fill the void and make a decision to buy new clothes, for example. We miss the point that what we really wanted is simple joy, a renewal of the self, an experience of beauty.
The wants of the heart are cut brutally when someone prods us to take a decision according to external considerations. A hurried mother needs to leave the house but her little girl wants to wear the green coat, and the blue coat and the red coat. And then comes the sentence “decide now, or I'll make the decision for you".
A father takes his son to the ice-cream shop, and while the boy is enchanted by the abundance of colours and tastes and all the beauty in front of his eyes points the one he wants, the sentence comes: “you’ve got another thing coming”.
A teenage girl wants to study at the university a profession that doesn't come with decent salary. And then the sentence comes: "don't choose just what you want, but something that you'll make money from.”
We could have offered the girl to take all the coats with her. We could have offered the boy to write down all his wants in a dream book and find the right time to fulfil them one-by-one. We could have allowed the young lady-girl to study what she wanted.
We can open a window for natural wants, simple wants which are like a gentle dance between the inner world and the circumstances in the outer world.
But this is not the way we were raised, hence many of us grow old not knowing anymore what they really, but really really want. Especially when it comes to the meaningful things of life.
Many people are afraid to want as if the wanting itself had become the guillotine of decision. As if the wanting itself had become the butcher's knife in the hands of a society that doesn't know what to do with feelings. As if my wants threaten someone else's freedom or self-expression.
We convert our authentic wants into buying new clothes, as if a new shirt has the power to provide a renewal or genuine connection for authentic want. These kinds of wants are the numbing and flattening offspring of a vulgar fashion whose roots are not deep enough to reach the bottom of our souls, which germinate through our true wants.
If we desire manifestation, creation, fulfilment, it is our moral obligation to inquire whether the wanting that has been born at one moment is a messenger of the heart, a broadcast from something much deeper than we are accustomed to meeting on the surface.
When we want to be alone, when we want love, when we want attention, when we want to be seen, when we want to laugh and be happy. When we want to experiment and inquire, when we want to be the natural movement of the wanting that wants to teach us about human nature - this is Nature speaking through our wants.
The wanting that comes from the heart and not from an empty dark void that we rush to fill with wasted feelings is a transparent birth canal of the soul’s transmission.
Allow yourselves the space of right, the right to invent wants from the heart. Fill up pages and pages of wants that may never be fulfilled. Dance a pile of wants the meaning or usefulness of which maybe nobody besides you will understand.
Let yourselves be a fertile ground that absorbs the seeds of wants like a meadow, and allow the world's forces to naturally support the seeds of wants that have the best growth potential for you.
Grant the wants the freedom not to decide what they will be in the future.