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Mother’s Day This Year Can Feel Different

Mother’s day this year can feel different. It can be something else than a sad day, a triggering day or a numbing day. When you transform mother wound limiting beliefs to empowering beliefs you change the way you feel about your past with your past and as a result the way you feel about mother's day transforms as well. You’ll learn here how to identify limiting beliefs that come from the mother wound and what are the effects of limiting beliefs.

Mother's Day this year


Spoiler alert: a special Mother’s Day offer at the end of this blog


Mother’s day this year can feel different. If in the past you felt triggered, sad, angry or like me indifferent, this year I want you to have a different experience.

I have never celebrated mother’s day. Since I’ve never had a good relationship with my mother and I never appreciated the way she treated me and my sister, I just treated mother’s day as any other day.

But I in past, I also didn’t have an insight into why I’m not so disturbed by it as other women with a mother wound were. It’s like it didn't touch me.

When I’ve discovered why I seemingly didn’t have big feelings about it my whole perspective changed.

Maybe there were years that I brought her a bunch of flowers. That was nothing more than doing something that everyone was doing, without being emotionally invested in it.

In the need to step into the adult’s shoes and cover for my mother’s misgivings, I grew to believe that I don’t need anybody—and definitely don’t need her, that it’s all on me and that I know how to solve my problems. So if I just moved on there’s nothing to celebrate nor lament.

These were strong mother wound’s limiting beliefs but for many years I didn’t know how to identify limiting beliefs. So they shaped my life until I learnt otherwise.

How to identify limiting beliefs

As humans we can’t live without beliefs. But we can learn how to identify limiting beliefs in order to rewrite them to empowering beliefs.

A belief is a psychological structure that allows us to make sense of life. A belief creates a unique connection between self and others/world /life which draws from early life experiences.

Women who grew up with a mother who didn’t provide for their needs for guidance, safety and nourishment unconsciously draw conclusions from that relationship and design a beliefs system that is as limiting as their relationship with their mother.

Three very common mother wound examples of limiting beliefs are:

  1. I can’t be loved

  2. I’m not enough

  3. I’m misunderstood

While none of these are true, to our nervous system and emotional body they ring very much as Truth.

These limiting beliefs were part of my system too. I wanted to be loved but ended up choosing the wrong people for it. I pretended that I knew it all and always felt that I should be careful with what say and how because the potential to be misunderstood and the frustration that came with it was too eminent.

No amount of self-convincing or coaching can bypass a belief system into adopting empowering beliefs without the understanding of what are the effects of limiting beliefs.

What are the effects of limiting beliefs

Limiting beliefs are wired into our nervous system and as such they have four motivating actions, just like the nervous system:

  1. They push us to fight

  2. They lead us into flight

  3. They numb us

  4. They push us to befriend at any cost

Our individual beliefs might prescribe different variations of the common narratives of limiting beliefs but the effect of limiting beliefs will always fall in one of these four responses.

Limiting beliefs shape rigid responses and perspectives and block fresh and spontaneous engagement with new possibilities.

The years I spent in therapy healing my own mother wound and then in training in trauma-informed practices for healing the mother wound shed light on why I was so indifferent (or numb) to mother’s day.

I was in freeze!

My belief system was a numbing response to the unbearable pain I’ve experienced in the relationship with my mother.

To my mind, unconsciously, it looked like it’s better to pretend that it didn’t touch me than to enter the chaos of feeling the feelings that were attached to being neglected, mistreated, abandoned and traumatised.

Mother’s day this year feels to me like a peaceful letting go and acceptance for the childhood I’ve never had and the mother who couldn’t be present for me.

Mother’s day this year can feel different because of this fact

I’ve witnessed this both on myself and the many women I’ve worked with over the years—When you heal the mother wound you feel unburdened by the pain and free to design empowering beliefs.

When we feel good about ourselves, have an emotional and psychological knowing that what happened in childhood was not our fault and realise that we’re not responsible for our mother (her health, happiness or anything else) the big emotions towards our mother change and so do our feelings towards mother’s day.

I want you to have a mother’s day this year that feels different. That bears the fruits of rewiring to empowering beliefs.

I know that it's possible to believe you’re worthy of care and love without effort-ing for it, that you’re allowed to be as close or far as you wish from any person, including your mum and that your satisfaction in life hinges on nothing besides sharing yourself fully and freely with your people and communities.

My Video Training on breaking free from limiting beliefs

I’ve designed a video training for healing the mother wound by breaking free from limiting beliefs. This course will teach you:

  1. How to connect to your innate capacity for wholeness

  2. How to identify your limiting beliefs

  3. Why you shouldn’t be afraid of limiting beliefs

  4. What are the keys to unlocking limiting beliefs

  5. How to integrate empowering beliefs

Mother’s day offer

For mother’s day this year I’m offering:

  • 50% discount on my video training Breaking Free from Limiting beliefs - Only 22.5CHF, instead of 45CHF

  • Invitation to an exclusive event for those who purchased the course.

How this works

  • Purchase the video with this coupon code: MOTHERSDAY

  • The offer is valid until May 20th 2024

  • Once you purchased the video training you’ll have instant access to the training’s material and you’ll receive an email invitation for the event

  • If you purchased the course in the past (or received it as a gift for your participation in the Mother Wound Summit) you’re also welcome to join this special event

What’s included

  • This is a video training to do it in your own pace.

  • 6 units packed with guidance for breaking free from limiting beliefs, divided into digestible videos

  • Guided reflections and explorations to breaking free from limiting beliefs

  • Exclusive event held on Zoom, Thursday May 30th 20-21:15 CET (check your time zone here). I’ll lead somatic practices for healing the mother wound and limiting beliefs and offer space for Q&A for anything that came up for you from the course or your current struggles with limiting beliefs and the mother wound

Have more questions? Want to learn more about the video training and why it's relevant for you and for healing the mother wound?

Click here to learn mor about Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs. Dont forget to use the coupon code MOTHERSDAY


Not sure yet? No problem!

Here are a couple of ways to stay connected:

Sign up to my Museletter for regular, useful content on healing the mother wound

Take my video training on breaking free from mother wound limiting beliefs

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Shelly's helping women whose relationship with their mother left a negative mark and want to become un-limited in their personal or professional life


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