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Healing the Mother Wound is Not Mother Blaming

There are clear and important differences that explain how healing the mother wound is not mother blaming. It is very significant to become familiar with these difference as they can set the tone for a beneficial mother wound therapy journey.

not mother blaming

Many women avoid healing their mother wound because they’re afraid they’re going to engage in mother blaming. But healing the mother wound is not mother blaming. There are sincere and significant differences between the two.

Since many traditional therapy models do focus on mother blaming, many women who have a deep sense that there’s something wrong with that approach avoid tending to the pain inflicted on them through their relationship with their mother.

Clarifying what is healing the mother wound and what is mother blaming can help blow the dust that conceals the huge potential in healing the mother wound.

Mother blaming is:

  • Projecting unprocessed emotions without taking responsibility over one’s own potential and capacity as a grown woman

  • Supporting a victim state rather than rehabilitating one’s own agency

  • Blindly replicating patriarchal attitudes and beliefs towards women

  • Relinquishing any possibility of finding freedom from childhood wounds

  • Avoiding the internal ‘hard work’ that healing requires

Adult women whose relationship with their mother was characterised by a consistent lack of protection, guidance or nourishment have genuinely experienced the pain of a wounding motherhood.

Whether that happened intentionally or unintentionally — is irrelevant.

And in any case, the mother wound is an emotional inheritance that passes down from mother to daughter to granddaughter and so on, to a point where that it’s hard to draw the line between conscious and unconscious, intentional or unintentional in one single relationship.

Instead, the focus of healing the mother wound is not looking for faults but looking into the honest pain that’s left lingering form a mother-daughter relationship and turning it into a source of strength, clarity and freedom.

Healing the mother wound therapy is about:

  • Breaking the cycle of generational trauma in order to start new cycles of healthy relationships in a woman’s life

  • Stepping out of patriarchal loops and healing collective damages to women’s authority and agency

  • Disentangling from limiting beliefs passed down from the mother (or a significant mother-like figure) and embracing enabling, empowering beliefs

  • Breaking free from shame and guilt in order to discover and experience more joy

  • Unburdening a woman’s constant sense of inadequacy so she can radiate her gifts unapologetically

  • Stepping away from imposed roles as a daughter and finding freedom of being

  • Consciously choosing to let go of charged or buried emotions so there’s clarity, space and energy for new choices

As you can see, the core difference between healing the mother wound and mother blaming is in focusing on transforming pain into wisdom.

The mother wound is a unique injury that comes from an unhealthy mother-daughter bond. Healing the mother wound helps you cultivate an internal role model you lacked in childhood either for a robust sense of self, for healthy relationships or

It can be easier to choose to engage in this important healing journey when knowing how healing the mother wound is not mother blaming.


Healing the mother wound is a relational journey that benefits greatly from having a skilled and compassionate companion. If you’re interested in learning more about my approach to healing the mother wound and how it can help you, click below to schedule a complementary call.


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Shelly's helping women whose relationship with their mother left a negative mark and want to become un-limited in their personal or professional life


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