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You Are Worthy of Love, Without Doing Anything to Prove It

You are worthy of love

without doing anything to prove it.

Even sitting still,

simply naming your shifting experiences,

you are worthy of love.

You are worthy of love no matter your mistakes,

the sudden outbursts of anger,

the cloudy judgment.

You are worthy of love for being just who you are, as you are.

Drink this nectar in.

If it sticks in your throat take it in

with some water. This medicine

might be bitter at first,

like the sharp potency of some wild healing plant.

Bathe in this love.

You are so unique and beautiful.

Your pains are moulding you

into this one-of-a-kind human.

Growing, I’m not gonna lie,

is bloody hard work.

Ask any child, they’ll tell you the truth.

For me, it’s like cleaning my house.

I hate the cleaning

but enjoy it so much when the house is cleaned.

The emotional life can either grow or make you smaller.

Like water, it is never immobilised.

If you think that doing nothing about the things that trouble you

means you’ll keep things just as they are, you live in a painful illusion.

When you don’t do anything about the painful triggers in your life — those thoughts in your mind that keep you small, relationships that hold you back, the fear of change that keeps you from taking the first step, conversations you avoid — your emotional world shrinks and your presence with it.

For years I was afraid of my own darkness.

I kept on pushing it aside, ignoring its presence, pretending to be strong and to know what I was doing or saying. But the more I pushed my darkness the more shrivelled my sense of existence became.

It was a hot week in the desert where I found myself in a tight inescapable corner. It was so narrow, suffocating, belittling, contracting, that I realised I had only two choices: either to become smaller, to let my life be governed by the darkness I was afraid to meet, or to grow big enough to pass through the passage of pain.

It happened while I was in a meditation retreat almost 15 years ago. A part in me I was unable to push aside anymore stood at the middle of my path gritting its teeth. I hardly ate. I came to the meditation sittings but I just couldn’t stop crying.