You Are Worthy of Love, Without Doing Anything to Prove It
You are worthy of love
without doing anything to prove it.
Even sitting still,
simply naming your shifting experiences,
you are worthy of love.
You are worthy of love no matter your mistakes,
the sudden outbursts of anger,
the cloudy judgment.
You are worthy of love for being just who you are, as you are.
Drink this nectar in.
If it sticks in your throat take it in
with some water. This medicine
might be bitter at first,
like the sharp potency of some wild healing plant.
Bathe in this love.
You are so unique and beautiful.
Your pains are moulding you
into this one-of-a-kind human.
Growing, I’m not gonna lie,
is bloody hard work.
Ask any child, they’ll tell you the truth.
For me, it’s like cleaning my house.
I hate the cleaning
but enjoy it so much when the house is cleaned.
The emotional life can either grow or make you smaller.
Like water, it is never immobilised.
If you think that doing nothing about the things that trouble you
means you’ll keep things just as they are, you live in a painful illusion.
When you don’t do anything about the painful triggers in your life — those thoughts in your mind that keep you small, relationships that hold you back, the fear of change that keeps you from taking the first step, conversations you avoid — your emotional world shrinks and your presence with it.
For years I was afraid of my own darkness.
I kept on pushing it aside, ignoring its presence, pretending to be strong and to know what I was doing or saying. But the more I pushed my darkness the more shrivelled my sense of existence became.
It was a hot week in the desert where I found myself in a tight inescapable corner. It was so narrow, suffocating, belittling, contracting, that I realised I had only two choices: either to become smaller, to let my life be governed by the darkness I was afraid to meet, or to grow big enough to pass through the passage of pain.
It happened while I was in a meditation retreat almost 15 years ago. A part in me I was unable to push aside anymore stood at the middle of my path gritting its teeth. I hardly ate. I came to the meditation sittings but I just couldn’t stop crying.
I cried for a whole week. Everybody was worried about me. Besides my dear teacher. She knew. Because she’d been there. In her own version, yet the great teachers will teach you from the depth of their own initiation. She knew I had to pilgrim on that gravel of pain and that no amount of tears would consume me, that they would only empty out the fear of meeting myself.
By the end of that week I’d learned something that has stayed with me like a birthmark on my heart:
It’s not that the pain
disappears, it’s you
who grows bigger.
The awareness you bring to the parts in your life that make you feel smaller and the parts in you that are crying out loud for your help and your tenderness create the yearned for balance and harmony.
Now, sit with me
for a moment
under the night sky
and look at your beautiful reflection,
you are a carpet of stars.
This is the medicine I wish to share with you. You will find this in the course
The Healing Powers of Mindfulness
Finding resources for renewal
We start on March 4th. There are still some free places.
Learn more about the course and save your spot here
Shelly's helping those who know their gifts and strength lie in their life story and wounds, yet after many efforts they don't seem to live that reality to the full and want to learn how to deepen their self-trust and be an authentic expression of themselves
Learn more about Life Alignment
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash