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Is There an End to the Mother Wound

& a special interview video

This is one of the most burning questions women bring to me.


A challenging relationship with a mother brings up a lot of pain. This pain manifests in our daily life most commonly as shame, repeated disappointment, excessive anger, ongoing latent sadness, and guilt in unexpected or unrelated situations.


So who wouldn’t want to put an end to that?!


The common thought that most women have, “ but I can’t change my mother” doesn’t help either. It being up a sense of helplessness.


Helplessness is a development of a wounding relationship

As children, of any age, we need our mother to reassure us, to affirm us. We depend on her capacity to guide and nourish us. When this fails on a regular basis we end up feeling quite often helpless.


As adult women, we can cultivate compassion and begin to see our mother as a human being who has had her fair share of wounds and trauma. We grow out of our dependence and begin cultivating a sense of accomplishment through our efforts.


Yet, the sense of helplessness that we’ve experienced during childhood sits in our body.


And so it happens that messages of helplessness become part of the way we respond to future events. It’s an unconscious strategy for defending ourselves again future disappointment or shame.


That’s how we find ourselves succumbing to thinking we’re unable to make our dream happen or resolving repeated hurts by suppressing the implications on our hearts and other instances where women try to fit in better rather than believe that genuine belonging is available.


Helplessness is a latent cry for help

We are extremely amazing beings!


We are resilient, flexible, adaptable and most importantly creative.


No matter how many times we’ve experienced disappointment the yearning to find the right help never ceases to dance in our hearts.


This tells us that our wounds or trauma don’t need just management or “moving on”. They need resolution.


No matter who your mother is, whether she’s still alive or not or if you have a relationship with her or not, a resolution is possible.


I’ve worked with a woman who was given up for adoption and didn’t have contact with her biological mother yet found a resolution to her infant trauma and was able to move beyond the limitation her wound imposed on her career; another woman who was well into her crone years have found a resolution to the efforing voice her narcissistic mother instilled in her and now is having her golden days.


I’ve seen over and over in my work how women find a resolution to their mother wound no matter their circumstances.


And you probably know some about the painful experiences I’ve had with my own mother. In spite of all the neglect and abandonment, my relationship with my mother today is accompanied by genuine acceptance and compassion.


If I and so many other women found a resolution to the mother wound so can you!


In a recent interview with Cassandra Eve I’m answering this question.