You Have the Right to a Life You Love

Growing up with a challenging mother you probably have become a strong woman. But being resilient doen't mean having a life you love. Undermothered women carry an invisible weight — the emotional bag from childhood they never got to put down. Learn how Teresa found more trusted connection in her life and stopped trying to fix her relationship with her mother so she could have a life she loves.

One of my clients once told me, “I could win the resilience olympics.”

My clients are strong women. They’re creative, spiritual, accomplished, gentle, caring and resilient.

But what she meant was this: she wasn’t seeking praise for the strength she had no choice but to grow into early on in life.

Being a strong woman doesn’t equal having a life you love or feel you deserve.

One of my clients, Teresa*, realised that when she came across my posts on social media and started thinking “maybe what I went through in childhood was not normal.”

She grew up in Asia and moved to the west in adulthood to start a new life. But she couldn’t enjoy life. She felt as if she was carrying the emotional neglect of her childhood like a weight she “couldn’t put down.”

Teresa has a gorgeous, radiant smile. Yet she always felt a sadness lingering behind.

Only her life partner knew how she felt about her mum and her childhood. “I can’t trust anyone else”, she told me.

This was suffocating for her and made her feel lonely.

Your life partner can be wonderful, but one person cannot meet all your relational needs.

The mother wound is a rupture in our relationship with ourselves, with others and with life itself - and it begins in our relationship with our mother. 

When Teresa became a mum herself, she tried to repair her relationship with her mother. But she was the only one willing to seek healing and take responsibility which increased her frustration, hurt and disappointment.

So we began a 3-month 1:1 Healing the Mother Wound process to help her put the emotional weight down, tend to pent up feelings she stored since she was a little girl, open up to trusted connections and start building a life she could love.

Growing up with a mother who’s emotionally unavailable, neglectful, immature or abusive can leave feeling:

👑 You’re being “too dramatic"

👑 You’re betraying her by talking to me about her

👑 Uneasy when people feel delight in you

👑 Like it’s your fault

👑 Afraid your feelings will overwhelm you

👑 Completed to explain to justify your feelings

👑 Embraced to still feel so deeply after all these years

If you’ve tried talk therapy before but still feel emotionally stuck, it’s because most therapy modality keeps you stuck in figuring out why you feel the way you do.

I use body-based approach, which helps you move through the emotions.

Instead of talking about it—we’re working with it.

With Teresa, I offered a safe, patient space where she could unfold at her own emotional rhythm and let go of the efforts to carry emotions by herself. At the same time, I taught her an emotional technique to find her emotional stop-point, so she wouldn’t get overwhelmed.

This enabled her healing to a depth she hasn’t experienced before.

By the end of our work, Teresa:

👑 Let go of the hope for acknowledgment or apology from her mother

👑 Felt confident setting boundaries to protect her child from emotional abuse

👑 Has closer, supportive friendships with people who love her just as she is

👑 Sought compassion beyond her partner, which brought lightness to their intimacy

👑 Stopped sending her mum money every month (if you want to stop being financially responsible for your mum, look out for my next post about this)

A 1:1 space gives you lived experiences of being seen, safe and appreciated. It then helps you recognise in everyday life which relationships support a life you love and which drain you.

For Teresa, it meant she no longer had to be the strongest and most resilient and responsible person in the room.

This is the point where your mother’s emotional absence no longer lives as a hidden belief that you don’t deserve to be cared for by others and you can lean on your strength as a choice, not as a default.

Wonder how this could unfold for you?

I’d love to accompany you in this powerful process of healing—so you can put down your childhood’s weight.

On Monday, December 15, my 1:1 rates are increasing.

If you book by Sunday, December 14, you can lock in the current rate and start now—or anytime before the end of January 2026.

Your next steps:

👑 Click the link below, tell me about yourself, and schedule a free call so we can both feel comfortable and you can learn about the process

👑 Check your inbox for a confirmation email

👑 If we’re a good fit, purchase your package by Dec 14 and schedule your first session now or anytime before the end of January 2026

INQUIRE NOW

P.S. Want to let go of your emotional bag? Start your support now and lock in the current price for a 1-, 3-, or 6-month package before the holidays.. Book here

P.P.S. In my free private podcast you can learn how being undermothered leads to emotional efforting and how to move beyond it. Download now your episodes of BirthRite:

*Teresa is a pseudo name

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Shelly's is a trauma-informed, certified Hakomi therapist helping women who've had a complex relationship with their mother discover the hidden impacts of the mother wound 👉 so they can thrive in their lives & careers