Get your mum’s voice out of your head

Your mother's voice can follow you aven when you’ve packed your life into suitcases and moved miles away. Some things don’t stay behind and that's how the mother wound lingers. Perhaps it chase you in the way you hesitate, or brace for something to go wrong. This piece is help you get your mum’s voice out of your head: to notice what you’re still carrying that was never truly yours, and to gently begin loosening the inherited fears, habits, and stories that keep living on inside you.

A little while ago, we sat together in the low amber light of the villa — my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, and I. The fire was crackling softly, the television still glowing in the corner, now muted as if in deference to our conversation.

I had been cleaning the cupboard earlier and found a few peculiar relics tucked inside it: objects saved long past their use, as if waiting to be remembered.

“I can’t help it, you know” my mother in law said in a half amused, half ashamed tone, “it’s how I was brought up, to keep everything.”

I nodded. I knew this habit all too well.

Her generation, and the one before it, like so many of our mothers and grandmothers, had been through war and want—cold houses and empty shelves. They learned to hold on: to turn scraps of food into soup, old clothes into quilts, and broken chairs into kindling material.

Yes, I nodded, but also said:

“I used to be like that too. But I learnt to let go of fears that weren’t mine and release the scarcity mentality.”

I wonder if you’re reading this and nodding to yourself while recalling stories you’ve heard from your own mother or grandmother?

Perhaps you’re also experiencing some nostalgia and having some feelings about this as if you have lived through these stories yourself?

In truth, you have.

Our mothers’ and grandmothers' untold stories and unhealed wounds run in our veins like blood.

The intimacy between mother and daughter is one of a kind, a relational cord that has biological, narrative, emotional and spiritual traces that are relived until you break the cycle.

We’re wired to hoard, biologically speaking— to stow experiences that taught us to brace for a similar trauma or unmet need.

So when a woman tells me “I moved countries away, and my mum still lives in my head,” I know exactly what she means—and I know she’s not alone.

The mother wound is a rupture in our relationship with ourselves, with others and with life itself - and it begins in our relationship with our mother. 

Until we heal the mother wound, the belief “this will happen again” stays hidden from our conscious mind yet shows up in our everyday life.

If your mother:

🦩 Constantly criticised you—you might now default to feeling “I’ve done something wrong” with clients or your boss

🦩 Often threatened to leave you (or take her own life)—you might now be afraid that friends will disappear without a word

🦩 Gave you things always with the expectation to do something for her—it might be hard to trust people’s generosity

🦩Couldn’t trust you to hang out with your friends—you might now feel the need to lie when you want to treat yourself

Our mother will inevitably live in our system — but the part she plays in our life is up to us, and to what we do about healing the mother wound

I’ve helped clients mute their mum’s voice in their head, and they were able to:

🦩 Retire early and finally take care of their health

🦩 Find the mental space and courage to start the business they’ve been dreaming about

🦩 Stop financing their mother and instead invest in themselves or their own children

Want to get your mother’s voice out of your head?

I’m not suggesting you cut ties, nor would I ever tell a woman what relationship she should have with her mum. 

But if you tell me you don’t want your mum living in your head anymore — especially after moving to the other side of the world only to find she’s still there — then I’ll help you find a way that works for you to evict her from your mind without having to move countries.

I can help you start now making room for yourself. 

I’m currently taking on my last few clients of the year.

We can work together for one, three or six months.

Depending on the length of our work we’ll go through:

1. Clarity: We map out exactly what keeps your mother’s voice in your head — the patterns, the stories, and the emotional imprints — and identify the first levers that will start to shift them. This is where you

2. Rewriting your lived experience: We create new experiences, behaviours and choices that reflect your needs and choices rather than inherited ones.

3. Integration: You ground the new beliefs and habits in your daily life — in your relationships, your work, your decisions — so you don’t slip back into old dynamics. xxx

On Monday, December 15, my 1:1 rates are increasing. 

If you book by Sunday, 14 December, you can lock in the current rate and choose to start now or anytime before the end of January 2026.

YOUR NEXT STEPS:

🦩 Click the link below to tell me about yourself and schedule a free call for us to feel comfortable with each other and learn about the process

🦩 Check your inbox for a confirmation email 

🦩 If we’re a good fit, you can purchase your package by Dec 14 and book your first session right away or by the end of January 2026

ENQUIRE BY TELLING ME ABOUT YOURSELF HERE 👇

INQUIRE NOW

P.S. You don’t have to carry your mum’s voice forever. Start your support now & lock in the current price for the next 1-, 3- or 6-month before the holidays. BOOK HERE

P.P.S. If you’re new here, start with my private podcast BirthRite  — it’ll help you feel informed and hopeful about healing the mother wound 👇

---

Shelly's is a trauma-informed, certified Hakomi therapist helping women who've had a complex relationship with their mother discover the hidden impacts of the mother wound 👉 so they can thrive in their lives & careers