What If You Knew What Is The Most Vulnerable Experience You Can Have

I set on the grass in my garden yesterday afternoon. The sun was very pleasant and the bees were soothing my busy mind by flying gently from one purple flower to another. I drank my milky tea and simply enjoyed the silence and nothingness. I was happy. My cat jumped on the kitchen widow seal that watches over the garden. I looked at him and thought how much I love him. In seconds my mind was busy with a story of how my cat falls of the window, hurts himself, I’m suffering for his pain, I need to rush him to the hospital …. Did it happen to you ? That you’re just enjoying yourself, feeling content or happy and then, boom, your mind smacks your happiness with some horrendous story of devastation ? It’s the nature of happiness. It’s fragile. When we’re happy we’re actually most vulnerable. We tend to approach happiness as a way of becoming invincible and unbeatable. As if when we finally reach a state of ultimate happiness the problems of life will have no power over us any more.

It's not easy to change the way we go after happiness. We can start by realising it is actually the most vulnerable and fragile experience we can have. Happiness is unexpected subtle lady-bag sitting on your shoulder when least expected. And if you bend like a grass blade to try and bring her to ground she will simply spread her wings and fly. You can’t protect your happiness from falling apart. When you chase ideas that will bring you happiness you chase happiness away from you. Don’t force your way to happiness. Be open to your pain, stay open with your frustrations and confusions. Welcome the unknown. Tend to your broken heart. Grace to the vulnerability of shame and judgment. Whatever hurts matters as much as happiness. Happiness is not above life but inside it.