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Stop the struggle

* The origin of the word struggle is unknown *

When I look at the origin of our struggles in life I would say that it’s unknown too. Or it’s made up. It comes from an idea of how things should turn out in your life, an idea of what’s wrong or unjust in the way your life is unfolding right now.

When you find yourself struggling, just stop.

Take a step back.


Go out of your mind.

Struggle with your (ex)partner to listen to what needs to be taken care of, struggle with your boss to stop him/her micromanaging you, struggle with your parents to get them to accept you just as you are, struggle to gain clarity, to loose weight, to get your art work out of your heart - struggle with who you are.

If you come with explanations of why you need to keep your struggle, part of me would want to say “yes, you’re right, that one is really difficult to not struggle with”. But the bigger part of me doesn’t believe that. Not anymore.

I am not sugarcoating your challenges here. I just suggest that,

If you feel it’s too easy you’re most probably doing something right.

How many times we heard the idea “life is hard”, “things are complicated”. And we believe that. So we just don’t go about things with a light heart.

If one door doesn’t open, go to another door. Hey, why not go through the window, or slip down the chimney like Santa Klaus? Better yet, dig a tunnel underground and knock the whole building down. Just do what gives joy and ease.

It’s not about being passive or giving up. It’s not about black and white. It’s about flexing your beliefs about how things could be achieved.

One of my private clients, a super-talented artist and therapist, came to me overwhelmed, tired and confused. Things are changing in his life and he needs some clarity. His idea was ‘focus’. If he could just focus everything will be alright.

Focus could be the right solution but what are we focusing on is the question. Do we loose the bigger pictures though the effort to just be focused. Through inquiry we discovered that what he really needs is to bring back enthusiasm into his life, to allow his heart to expand and explore new arenas of expression. You should see his shiny face now.

When you believe in yourself, you start slowing down.

There’s no way to get overwhelmed if you slow down. We’re getting overwhelmed when we struggle to fill up a cup that’s already full, or knock on a door that can’t be opened.

Chasing ideas of how things should be different than what they are only increases the pain. It’s actually when you are willing to say “it sucks, I admit that, but I see clearly what it really is” that the pain starts to melt down.

Easy is good.

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