I’m sorry. Not an easy word to say. Not an easy word to hear. But if you live in this world and are involved in relationships at some point or another you’re bound to hurt or get hurt, bound to use it or hear it.
Words are more than vehicles. They are meeting points.
Sorry is one of those important words in life that have been ironed out of their depth and beauty. Like love. Like leadership. In my private practice, I hear many telling me “I don’t need their sorry, it doesn’t mean anything…”
‘I'm sorry’ is a powerful cleanse that allows you to create a new meeting place. When I say I’m sorry to someone I hurt I say it with full intention - and with no ‘BUT’. I’m sorry but…. and giving some kind of explanation or justification.
When you say ‘I’m sorry’:
Be fully present to the feelings of you both
Avoid promising it’ll never happen again - you have no way to ensure that!
Be specific - let the other know what exactly are you sorry for
Let the other be fully seen and heard - even if they repeat what happened and it’s not pleasant to hear.
Don’t expect forgiveness - some hurts are difficult to forgive and will take time
Forgiveness is a creative act seeking to change the quality of the experience from broken to integrated.
Your words are loaded with your intention. Getting clear about your intention will lead you to happy relationships.