Your FAQ Answered

Healing the mother wound eventually brings you to a point where insight isn’t the problem anymore—you already know the why. What you want now is relief you can actually feel. In this FAQ, I’m answering the questions women ask me most once they’re ready to move beyond understanding and into real, embodied change.

Most of the women I work with,  have already done a lot of healing work.

They’ve read the books, joined therapy or coaching, and know the stories well—feeling unseen in relationships, feeling guilty for saying “no,” playing small so they won’t seem too much, or still aching to feel truly heard and seen by their mum.

By the time they reach me, they’re no longer searching for more explanations about why they are the way they are or what in their mother’s behaviour caused their pain.

So it makes sense that the number one question I hear from women like you is:

“How can I stop feeling the feelings I don’t like?!”

They already understand the origins. What they want now is a change that lasts—a shift they can feel in their body, not just understand in their mind.

They want to finally live differently, not just talk about it differently.

So as this final email before my 1:1 rate increase, I want to share answers to the most common question women ask me: “But how?"

It starts with understanding how my somatic approach is different 👇

🍒 What actually happens in a somatic session?

You know how, as we talk, we use hand and body gestures, make facial expressions and our tone of voice changes depending on what we’re talking about?

Somatic therapy pays close attention to these subtle, nonverbal cues—they’re often the key to releasing the old habits and emotional patterns you already know so well.

The mother wound creates a rupture in our relationship with ourselves, with others, and with life itself — a rupture that starts in our relationship with our mother.

Because this rupture happened early, before you could put experiences into words, your body still carries the messages and memories from those early moments. These gestures and sensations become signposts—hidden in plain sight—pointing toward what wants healing, because it hasn’t been noticed before.

In a session, we’ll start with a simple conversation. You don’t have to prepare or know what to work on—it can begin with anything that’s on your mind.

As we talk, something in your body will reveal itself as a signpost. That’s what I’ll gently reflect back to you—because we can’t see our own patterns from the inside. From there, I’ll offer ways to explore that point—and just like that, instead of unpacking an old story, we’ll find a focused, embodied way to bring relief and release that you’ll feel immediately.

Somatic work helps you experience something fresh and alive, rather than repeating what you already know.

It’s often in these simple, present-moment discoveries that deep shifts begin.

🍒 Will I have to re-live my past trauma?

The short answer is—no!

In the past, trauma therapy focused on reawakening the trauma and remembering ‘what happened’ as the main path of healing.

This can sometimes be re-traumatising—and it’s not always possible or even necessary to remember everything.

When it comes to the mother wound, we’re not dealing with a single event.It’s a lifelong relationship with many small ruptures and disconnections over time.

In somatic work, you might recall moments from your relationship with your mum, but these memories come naturally—not because we force them, but as gentle releases while we explore what’s happening now.

You don’t have to relive the past to heal it.

In a mindful, compassionate environment—free from pressure or expectation—your body releases what it’s ready to let go of, safely and in its own timing.

🍒 What if I open something up and can’t put it back?

The first phase of my somatic approach is focused on helping you feel safe.

That means it’s my job to help you make that happen—whether you already know how to feel safe or not.

Together we learn to read your body’s signs—the cues that show when something is ready to be explored and when we need to slow down.

Your protective mechanisms are important. They kept you safe when you needed them most.

Sometimes they’re a little porous—especially if your relationship with your mum was fused.

More often, they’re overused and exhausting.

I have deep respect for these patterns—they’ve done their best for you.

In our work, we gently create new ways of protection—step by step—so your body learns that safety and expansion can exist together.

When you’re not forcing or pushing through, your natural curiosity returns.

Each small discovery shows your nervous system it’s possible to feel safe while growing—and that’s how real, lasting change happens.

🍒 What’s the difference between somatic and talk therapy?

Talk therapy often focuses on analysing, interpreting, or retelling your experiences.

Somatic work focuses on what’s happening in your body right now.

Your body remembers how your relationship with your mother shaped you—so trying to “think” your way into safety or self-trust only goes so far.

That’s why many women come to me after years of therapy still finding themselves in the same emotional loops.

In somatic work, we don’t just talk about what happened.

You get to experience how those old patterns live in your body today—and what wants to shift.

That’s when change becomes real, because it doesn’t just stay in your head.

It lands in your nervous system, where your sense of safety, joy, and connection live.

As one client said, “In talk therapy I understood why I was like this. In somatic work, I finally felt something new was possible.”

🍒 How do I know if it’s the right time?

The question about ‘the right time’ often hides a deeper one:

“How long am I willing to postpone having my needs and wishes met?”

We’re taught to cope, push through, and keep going—even when we’re running on empty.

That’s a mother-wound habit too. As a child, you didn’t have the choice to stop or ask for what you needed—you just had to keep going.

But now, you do have a choice.

As one client told me, “I realised there’s nothing admirable in getting on with things when inside me I felt on the edge.”

It’s not the right time if you’re currently in an intense trauma therapy process with another practitioner.

Otherwise, the right time is whenever you feel a spark of curiosity or willingness to meet yourself differently.

You don’t have to have everything figured out.

🍒 Somatic work isn’t about analysing your pain—it’s about helping your body remember what safety, ease, and self-trust feel like.

Over time, that sense of safety begins to ripple through everything—your relationships, boundaries, and how you show up in life.

If you’re ready to stop repeating what you already know and start feeling something new—this is your moment.

The last day to schedule a free call is Friday, December 12th.

My current 1:1 rates increase on Monday, December 15th.

YOUR NEXT STEPS:

🍒 Schedule a free call via the link below & receive a confirmation email in your inbox

🍒 Reserve 40-60 minutes so we can create a safe space for sharing and exploring your immediate next steps

🍒 If we’re a good fit: I’ll invite you to purchase your package by December 14 to lock in current rates

🍒 Book your first session: right away or by end of January 2026

INQUIRE NOW

P.S. Tomorrow, Friday December 12, is the last day to book a free call with me and lock in 1:1 current rates 👉 Book your free call here 

P.P.S. In my private podcast I offer many examples how somatic work was life changing for women like you 👉Tune in to BirthRite.

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Shelly's is a trauma-informed, certified Hakomi therapist helping women who've had a complex relationship with their mother discover the hidden impacts of the mother wound 👉 so they can thrive in their lives & careers