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Why Some People Get Over Self-Doubt and Some Don't

Whenever I get to hear an artist talk about their work or read someone’s book about their work, I learn that in spite of this person becoming such a well-know persona many of us admire, they too experience self-doubt.

It’s almost always shocking to discover that a person with palpable achievements who seems so confident can be crippled from the inside by self-doubt — just like you and me — right?!

To a certain extent it might be comforting to know that other people who’ve made big steps in their life are affected by self-doubt as well.

Nevertheless, when you’re assailed by self-doubt, and your head’s spinning with the endless possible implications of choosing one option over another, you’re not thinking about another person’s triumph over their self-doubt: you’re just wanting desperately to find your way out of your own.

What makes one person drown in self-doubt and another rise above it?

It’s not mental superpowers or any fast-food tricks.

To some extent, self-doubt is a normal experience. Something like what Freud called “a certain level of neurosis that everyone experiences, which can be called ‘normal’”.

When you stay in a job that makes you feel down because you doubt you could get anything better; when you cling on to a relationship that in your heart you know has run its course because deep inside you’re in doubt you’ll ever find another partner; when you’re not asking for what you need or allowing other people to make decisions for you because you can’t trust your own voice — it’s time to do something about it.

Because self-doubt is an internal experience you need to start from within.

One of the common places where we lose our voice and direction to self-doubt is comparison.

You can’t compare yourself to another and be immersed in growing your wholeness at the same time.

Begin to notice the moments you’re comparing yourself to others — who are they? what are the comparison points you’re paying attention to? How do you feel when you’re caught in comparison?

And most importantly — what hunger does this comparison serve?

As you name the hunger — such as to be seen, to feel secure, to find meaning — you can begin to pay attention to how your feelings change as you pay attention only to your hunger.

Comparison ceases when your hunger is seen by you, is fed by your humble attention.

Some people Don’t get over self-doubt, while other’s learned how their body works, so when self-doubt visits them don’t know what to Not listen to.


To gain knowledge and guidance is one thing, but to have an embodied experience is another.

So if you’re in Zurich, and you want to have that kind of relief from self-doubt in person, please join my workshop

Self-Doubt Detox : Life Alignment coaching & meditation workshop for shifting to self-trust and inner wisdom

October 24th, 9:30 - 13:30, in my amazingly beautiful new space in Zurich

Participation is based on pay-from-the-heart.

When you sign up you’ll be asked to pay 30CHF to keep your spot.

This is non-refundable when cancelling less than ten days before the workshop, unless someone else takes your spot.

Space is limited to 10 people.


Shelly helps women who live a connected, engaged life when they feel stuck in relationships or with their vocational life because their needs are downplayed or they're confused about the next step, and want to be a full & authentic expression of themselves.

Learn more about Life Alignment


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