The Compromises You Cannot Make Often Lead to Your Initiation
I thought that something was wrong
Because everybody kept on asking me what’s missing,
What’s gone wrong?!
I didn’t think that anything had gone wrong.
It sounds complicated but it’s
Very simple:
Even though
You’re not making enough money
or you don’t have a partner
or can’t move your career
to a point you know it can thrive
or haven’t found yet
the group of your belonging
that won’t judge you
for being who you are
You know
that in spite all that
it’s not because something’s wrong.
You know
that it’s not because you’re not doing the right things
or not doing enough.
You know
It’s not because something’s missing
or that you’ve failed to play the game.
There are compromises you just can’t make
and your heart is telling you
Babe, this game is not your game
this compromise is not yours to make.
You just know
that your soul is asking you to grow
with her through this hardship,
through this moment in time
when it seems like you hit a stop sign.
You know that it’ll be ok
and even when people tell you you’re an optimist,
you fear that they’re right
but you also know that there’s nothing
wrong with that.
So your focus shifts to finding the right answers
when people ask you ‘why is it happening?’
and ‘have you tried (this and that)?’
or ‘if it worked before how come it isn’t working now?’.
And you start by giving them
reasonable answers.
To not sound too odd when you say
‘it’s ok. I’m on the path’
when you’re actually struggling to pay the bills.
And your answers
shifts to name all the things
you’ve tried so they don’t think you’re lazy,
stupid or god forbid a failure.
But inside you cramp a bit
because you know it has nothing to do
with that.
You and your soul
are not the kind
to compromise
on a life path.
You know,
you just
know everything is alright
even when your life is not where
you want it to be. Even far from it.
But then
comes the moment
when you don’t answer anymore.
You simply smile at their questions
and your soul gives you a mischievous wink back.
You rest.
You breathe.
You know what you need to do.
Even in the most difficult times
your heart doesn’t falter.
And one day the shift happens.
Everything falls into place.
Like all those rain drops
that gathered one by one
and meandered towards the waterfall
to surrender
to the big ocean that they call home.
They knew there is no difference
between being a drop and being an ocean.
It’s all being. It’s all love.
It’s all love.
Shelly's helping people who live
Engaged and connected life
and want to deal with challenging feelings
while deepening their
self-trust & expression
Photo by Cristian Newman on Unsplash
