We say we need to ‘make’ a decision as if it’s a voluntary action we take.
Deciding is much less a verb than it is a matter of becoming. A continuity of something hidden that flows in our inner life.
The only action we can take is become aware of its own making. Like watching the sun rise in the morning from behind the faraway sea-line. You can observe it but you’re not making it appear.
It’s important for us to be Involved, to make sure we’re not just puppets, that we’re not spineless. We want to feel ourselves and probably to also know ourselves and glean some meaning from our life by taking part.
Watching the sunrise you can take part, which is not a mental ‘making’.
You can stand still and watch the magic happens. You can be on time to witness the transformation moment when your night becomes a day. You can be at awe of this beauty. You can be aware of how life flows with no instructions from your mind. It is just happening while you’re apart of it.
This has been called surrender. It has been called letting go. It has been given many spiritual conceptual names. For me, it is simply opening up to life. With all its mysteries and magical beauties. Yes, even those unexpected or uncontrolled movements we normally perceive as bad.
Life has its best interest in its heart.
We can invest our energy in strengthening this relationship with life, so this invisible partner we call life is more familiar, more loved.
And when the grip of worry, anxiety, stress, grapes you at the depth of your stomach, and makes your throat chock and the acids in your stomach churn and your breath miss an inhale, you can let go of the thoughts that there’s something you can make to fix things. Instead, as with the sunrise, you can allow the next moment to unfold and melt your heart with its colourful beauty.
Somehow we think that what we need ‘to do’ life rather than to live in it. That we need to get the sun to rise rather than to be with it when it does. To make a decision rather than to be with it when it rises from depth of our beautiful inner being.
To be who you are is one of the most appealing concept and yet seem to be one of the most difficult to achieve.
You decisions, no matter how grave and cardinal, don’t make you, they don’t even tell the story of who you are. They only tell the story of your presence to the early morning rise of your sun.
When you pay close attention you witness your decisions rise up with the breath, washing your life with warm light.