I realised in my own life that even if I live 90% in integrity that 10% fucks up everything.
Often that 10% is being involved with commitments that don’t serve you (anymore).
The threshold of backing off form commitment, is life’s invitation to live in 100% integrity. Because in energetic scale, 10% can be heavier and much more expensive than 90%.
There are so many commitments we’re involved in: scheduled coffee time with a friend, colleague’s dinner party invitation, marriage, career, studies, old friendships, daily routines, habits, creative projects. From the smallest to the heavy-gifting ones. we’re engaged in commitments because life is all about relationships.
Wanting to change, yourself or something in your life, will inevitably lead you to pull back from one or two commitments. And that, can be so challenging.
Without this last 10% you never get to reach completion and experience wholeness.
In life, some call it setting boundaries. I don’t disagree. I just want to call it by the name we feel it in real life - the 10% of lack of integrity that fucks you up, and you know it.
Backing off from commitments is a sacred art of showing up.
And this is how you do it:
Breaking apart, even if from old patterns that don’t serve you anymore, means breaking inner commitments you’ve made long ago. Sometimes it involves other people that you may not have bad feelings for, perhaps on the contrary. But they just don’t fit the new alignment of your life.
The more you give space for grieving, feeling the sadness, making space for the loss, the more your inner parts will catch up with where your heart is waiting for you.
2. Meet your fears.
You can’t control the way your fears and feelings come up, but you can control the way you process them.
The reason we find it so hard to go all the way in is because there’s always some fear involved - fear of missing out, fear of making a mistake, fear of being criticised, fear of losing, fear of regret, fear of changing, fear of not knowing what to say…
Name your fear. Then do the work. Breathing, meditation, dancing, coaching, chanting, whatever works for you.
3. Create new commitments with the qualities your heart yearns for the most.
Your heart doesn’t just yearn to back off from what doesn’t work for it, it also wants to fully step in to what does.
Just backing off is scary if it means falling into a void. List down the qualities and experiences your heart most crave. Commit to nourish those, so your path forward is supported. Structured flow, that’s how your mind and heart tango.
Let me know how it worked for you,
Photo by Abbie Bernet on Unsplash