Stress and worry are inevitable.
Your worries are not the problem.
What you do with them is where it becomes exciting!
How to stop worries from escalating to endless thoughts and heavy feelings?
How to not be ruled by worries that lead to doubt your decisions?
How to prevent worries from becoming a disease in your body?
How to stop letting your worries affect your loved ones?
The key is to stop believing what your worries tell you. Because once you do you’re fucked. And lady worry is so convincing like the old granny that tricked Hansel and Gretel.
Worry is a chatterbox that keeps on yapping about this and that and never gets tired. Don’t look for the solutions in her stories.
You think that if only you had found a solution to your financial situation your worries will be gone;
You think if only you had a way to make sure your decisions to relocate was right your worries will be over;
If only you were not afraid of your boss’ response you’d have a worry-free life;
That’s you believing to worry’s stories but yapping old worry will never stop, she’ll just tell you next that your future is insecure and that you don’t have what it takes to land you the next job and on and on and on.
To shut her up try going to your body and ground yourself in your sensations.
Next time a worry comes up, instead of getting dragged after the plot checking-in with yourself: where do you sense the worry in your body?
- Is it a racing heart, a clenched throat, a burning stomach? Is it fatigue, nausea, a lower back pain, a painful shoulder?
That’s one way that mindfulness can help you. It gives you a new focus, that is more grounded and concrete. That’s a new starting point. That’s how emotional resilience starts to grow, and you're not a victim to worries anymore.
When you shift the attention to your body the mind becomes less and less noisy. Then it’s easy to stop believing that worry is the best TedX speaker we all have to listen to.
Every experience, every feeling, prepares you for awakening. In your worry, there’s a deeper VOICE OF CARE that doesn’t feel rushed or stressful as worry does.
Perhaps you really care about making good decisions that support your family. Stay with that care, it’s a beautiful form of love.
Perhaps you care about taking into account new information you were not aware of previously. Stay with that care, it’s a beautiful form of love.
Perhaps you care about the future of your children. Stay with that care, it’s a beautiful form of love.
Care is a form of love that’s soothing and supportive for your future. Worry is a care out of control, bitten by imaginative horror stories of what has gone/could go wrong.
Mindfulness gives you the skills to step out of the trans of worry and find a way to serve with peace of mind what you deeply care about. It teaches your mind to give more voice to calmer and more sane voices of deep care.
The real reason that you're worried is not because there's something wrong or that your life is really really giving you reasons to be worried. It's because your mind is so used to get lost in these stories that it forgot that whatever challenge you face in life, you can attend to it, with or without worry. It's a matter of choice facilitated by mindfulness.
In October I’m starting another course on the use of mindfulness to deal with negative feelings and mind states. Join me here.
Photo by Charles Etoroma on Unsplash