top of page

How to beat comparing yourself to others

In 2011 I went through what I call a ‘break-open’. Up until then I was doing really well. I was working as a business consultant, acting as the third eye for companies, NGOs and government offices who are running community based projects. I was doing good in the world and I was making a good living with my own method of Mindfulness-based consultancy.

But, like in a good fairy tale, one day my whole world turned upside down. I felt I couldn’t go on with my career. I felt that there was more to my life path and I need to finally pick up my life-long flirtation with spirituality and take that journey all the way through. I didn’t know where it would lead me, and I was afraid to let go of everything I’d built, and for what? For an exploration?! I don’t like the word ‘awakening’. It’s too charged and stereotyped. But it was a waking up through breaking some kind of a shell and entering a greater reality that was calling to me. I felt I had no choice.

A few years later, I was in the transformational field ready and available to serve people, and lead them to living without fear and in their fullest expression. Entering that field I also discovered so many people who are doing such a great work in the world. So many people who “made it big”; so many who seem to have a large audience and love their transformational work; so many who...

...who seem to have so much to say and give - and who am I, a new little fish in a big pond, to make any difference, to bring anything new, to add something interesting to all of the abundance that was already out there way before my time?

I started comparing myself to all these spiritual celebrities. I started picking on what I don’t have compared to them. I even got jealous. And it put me down. The more I learned about another great persona doing great things the more I felt down and not enough.

I was afraid of these feelings of jealousy and comparison. I felt like I’ve lost all my spiritual practice, that I’ve gone astray. That for sure didn’t add to my confidence. And it didn’t help to think “positively”. It didn’t help to look at everything else I’ve accomplished in my life. It didn’t help to look in the mirror and tell myself how great I am. I did try a lot of tricks, and fished for any lifebelt I could find to save myself from drowning in all the negative feelings comparison brought into my life.

One day I had an idea. I decided to sit with a video of one of those favourite successful transformational gurus and simply watch the talk he gave. But while I watched, I made a point of being very aware of what it is exactly that I was jealous of. What was it exactly that I compared myself to. I looked with an inner magnifying glass for the things in the other person that made my heart both sing and squirm at the same time.

What you are hungry for

Is what you are capable of