We want the universe to tell us its secrets, to expose itself to us, to show us all its mysterious faces. Are we willing to do the same ? Are we willing to expose ourselves as much, to show the uncharted terrains of our heart?
We receive many "clues" for our human needs from babies. But since we don't know how to grow organic boundaries, and since we grow into a collective consciousness that cultivates separations and divisions, we don't understand our human needs, those that shine powerfully through babies and never really disappear.
The need to be loved, the need for meaning, the need to belong, the need to express and communicate, the need to be listened to, the need to be understood through our authentic voice - age is not a melting powder for those needs. Their primal nature walks with us throughout our lives.
It is much more difficult to make decisions when we don't have organic boundaries. It is much more difficult to navigate the complexity of life and dance with the changeability of each moment listening to the heart when we don't create organic boundaries. We think that setting boundaries starts only by saying "no" or "not allowed".
If we had figured everything out with logic and created magic with grocery lists of fashionable jargon - 5 steps to.... 10 minutes to.... 3 lessons to... Then we would have all been enlightened by now. The reason we're not is because we cannot reconcile the divorce of internal emotion and thought. We cannot offer the friction between a list go goals and the yearning of the heart a gift of a time-table nor can we console it with promises we'll die to keep.
It starts from the place where we've learned to set a boundary between "you need" and "I really want with all my heart". This boundary separates between things that we are really attracted to naturally and intuitively and what we have been told we need to do, to say, to look like, to learn and so on and on.
The brain and the heart as organs communicate between themselves constantly and intuitively without us telling them how and why and when. To be free and to have the freedom to be is the ability to express our creative nature and our personal voice, the yearning for meaning, the insights and decisions in the same holistic way on heart-mind togetherness. Without excluding, without compartmentalising, without setting artificial boundaries.
To take off the emotional armour that protects us from hurt is necessary. We must be exposed to grow new tissue, new life. When we have a wound in our body, no matter how deep it is, at some stage of the healing process we have to take off the bandages and - expose it to the light.
Then, the wound can heal, give birth to new cells, fresh and invigorating.
The immediate place we experience this process is when we're in a state or a place of needing. Pay attention to how difficult for you the word "need" is. It might even be difficult to say it out loud. "I am in need of...", "I need help with..." - how does it really feel to be in a place of needing?! What kind of sensation arises in the body? What kind of feelings come as a string of association-beads attached to the word “need”.
The social partitions we grow into are a big mirror that turns the word 'need' into a tool for shame and guilt. Be it small or big, let's face it - it would have been much easier if we didn't have to be in need.
Shedding the emotional shields is the place where we expose our existential vulnerability, the place where we become personal persons - it is a place of growth and transformation.
It is a place where we learn how to grow organic boundaries rather then setting boundaries of "no" and "not allowed". Living within organic boundaries is living the freedom of expression, it is being with the movement of life rather then acting upon life's movement.
This is how we put the brake on pleasing others. This is how we make decisions from the heart. This is how we express what's aligned at each moment without having to "work hard on it".
We are allowed to desire to express our need for communication in the same natural way a baby does - this need does not change just because we have acquired one language with a defined set of rules.
We are allowed to need to be loved here and now, just as we are, as a baby demands love or else s/he will not develop properly - this need does not change just because we become taller and start going to school or work.
We are allowed to take time out to explore, to understand from the heart, to spontaneously discover meaning just as a baby will keep on pointing things out to us until we understand his/her authentic voice - this need does not change just because a cloud of 'shoulds' have veiled our memory of our multi-dimensional origins.
When someone experiences contraction in the light of your needing - it is you who have shed light on their difficulty to be in touch with their basic need for acceptance and love.
Vulnerability is our basic human capacity to be in reciprocity.
The inherent contradiction of life between "freedom with no borders" and "the borders of freedom" dances an improvised dance in the eternal embrace of the inner and outer worlds.
To grow organic boundaries out of listening to the exposed feeling, out of revealing our vulnerability like a light shining on hidden magic spots, and then let go. Not to depend on results like a naked hanger waiting for a coat to give it existential meaning. To keep the heart open, to keep the door open to the light of the world.
To grow organic boundaries and live at peace with myself and with the world.
The article was peblished on Rebelle Society